From Indonesia with Love

I for one am shocked, SHOCKED, that Australian’s spies might be spying on people.

A news story hasn’t shaken me this much since I found out SAS Corporal Ben Roberts-Smith was awarded the Victoria Cross for killing people. I thought he received it for services to current affairs programs.

The revelations published in the Guardian this week really hit home for me. The Defence Department facility allegedly used in the phone tapping is near the farm my pet dog went to live on when I was 12. The thought of it being used for nefarious purposes is utterly bewildering.

And Indonesia of all countries. Besides the death of five Australian journalists in 1975, the East Timorese violence attributed to the Indonesian military in 1999, the 2002 Bali terrorist bombings and the 2005 Bali terrorists bombings, what have Indonesians ever done to us?

Ultimately I don’t understand why our politicians feel the need to spy on foreign leaders. If Tony Abbott wants to know what the Indonesian President is up to, can’t he just email him the same way the King of Nigeria emailed me last month?

Once his majesty sends me the money he promised, I am going to spend it on a holiday in Bali and hopefully show a few Indonesians that not all Australians are untrustworthy.

Luckily we have ethical politicians like Christine Milne willing to raise these important matters in Parliament. I’ve always had lots of time for Milne and her fellow Greens MPs, ever since hearing her speak at rally in Darlinghurst with my uncle Simon and his flatmate Julio.

I just hope the crisis the media is talking about doesn’t do as much damage as that budget crisis we suffered when Labor was in power. If Indonesia stops co-operating with us on illegal boat immigrants, we may be swamped by even more of them.

This whole spying scandal has left me incredibly jaded with our entire political process. I’ll just have to look to other institutions to restore my sense of faith in Australia, like my beloved Essendon Football Club.

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