Australian TV in 2014: Get ready for the Joe Dolce Story

A new year in television brings with it plenty of questions for viewers and executives alike.

Who survived the Summer Bay bombing? Has Australia still got talent? Why on earth did Colin Friels agree to be in that Schapelle telemovie? Wonder no more dear reader. Thanks to a time machine discovered in the long-abandoned offices of Beyond 2000Daily Review is able to reveal the highs and lows of our small screens in 2014 …

January 14: Cricket commentator Ian Chappell gives Channel Nine an ultimatum. “If you want someone to call the game then pick me but if you want someone to cross promote your shows then get one of those fucking House Husbands.” Gyton Grantley makes his commentary box debut the following week.

February 17: A visiting HBO executive emails various Australian TV producers seeking to get in contact with the “hilarious political satirist” he saw on TV the night before. He is eventually informed that was a Sky News broadcast of parliamentary question time involving Clive Palmer.

March 13: Falling advertising revenues prompt a round of cost-cutting measures for Ten’s ailing breakfast program Wake Up. On the chopping block are EP Adam Boland’s fully automatic coffee machine, James Mathison’s dedicated eyelash stylist and the extra “r” in Natarsha Belling

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Look mum, I did a journalism

As if the prospect of encountering Christopher Pyne on campus didn’t terrify university students enough, this month they awoke to the news there were more people studying journalism than there are working journalists.

It’s a grim statistic so in order to offer a fleeting burst of hope, I would like to share a few journalistic secrets on what employers are looking for. Continue reading

Don’t call me Shirley

Oh my God you GUYS! Did you read that story about how Khalessi from Game of Thrones is growing in popularity as a baby name?! We should totally share that link multiple times on Facebook and Twitter!! Isn’t that just the weirdest thing EVER?!!

Actually, no. It’s not weird at all. Finding inspiration in popular culture for baby names dates back more than 100 years. Continue reading

Seven live versions of popular Australian TV shows

As television executives watch their audience and – more importantly – advertisers dwindle, they are increasingly looking for new revenue streams. A current winner is to stage live versions of popular television programs in the hope audiences will pay $99.95 plus booking and parking fees for something they could watch for free.

In the last 12 months alone Australia has hosted live versions of Grand Designs, Spicks and Specks  and QI, the later proving that even if you don’t own a TV, Stephen Fry is an inescapable presence. Continue reading

With apologies to Martin Niemoller . . .

First they came for the bank tellers, and I didn’t speak out because I prefer to use the ATM.

Then they came for the book sellers, and I didn’t speak out because I could get the entire Game of Thrones series for $20 from Amazon.

Then they came for the clothing manufacturers, and I didn’t speak out because I buy all my tops in Bali.

Then they came for my job and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Read the original text here.