Five awesome flags we won’t see at the Olympics

The state flag of Virginia depicts the goddess Virtus standing over a defeated despot, though I am pretty sure I saw the exact same tableau at the Mustang Bar after a lady heard one bad chat up line to many.

This is officially the flag of the native American Pawnee Nation but what it looks like is the most badass Team USA hockey jersey ever, with the arrow heads representing the number of teeth the player has knocked out.

Pskov is a city in Russia apparently founded by Monty Python fans.

In 2007 the Daily Telegraph held a competition to design a new flag for Great Britain and this was the winner. I assume Parliament did not make the change official because they also would have had to change the name of the country to Britain, Fuck Yeah.

According to Viking legend, the Raven Banner will bring victory to whoever marches behind but  the actual bearer will die. So in the opening ceremony, the flag bearer is screwed but the guy behind him is a gold medal certainty.

Quoth the writer evermore . . .

THERE are a handful of things in this world that both impress and perplex me at the same time.

The Rolling Stones are one. The songs are great but do they not realise how ridiculous they look tottering across the stage in their late 60s?

This Sporting Life: Ben plays golf

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A friend of mine proved himself a supreme optimist when he invited me to play golf. Me. They guy so uncoordinated he didn’t learn to tie his shoes until he was 12.

And not only did he asked me to play, he also provided a very natty club polo shirt and cap to wear. How could I say no?

After being fitted out with a set of what I now know are not called golf “sticks”, I quickly googled the rules (apparently you don’t want the highest score) and was ready to hit the greens.

How entertainment magazines would report the last 100 years

With apologies to Martin Niemoller . . .

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First they came for the bank tellers, and I didn’t speak out because I prefer to use the ATM.

Then they came for the book sellers, and I didn’t speak out because I could get the entire Game of Thrones series for $20 from Amazon.

Then they came for the clothing manufacturers, and I didn’t speak out because I buy all my tops in Bali.

Then they came for my job and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Read the original text here.